Meeting the Need for Friendships Among Men


That we may be mutually encouraged by each other’s faith, both yours and mine. (Romans 1:12)

Clarence Shepard Day, Jr.: An American author, best known for his 1935 work Life With Father.

Research shows that the key to a long, happy life is not diet or exercise but strong social connections — in other words, friendships.

Yet, men are not good at this. Their inability to bond with other men even has a name — Male Deficit Model. Male friendships are less intimate than female friendships, and because there’s greater interpersonal competition, men experience lower friendship satisfaction.

“Most men,” according to psychologist Stuart Miller, “don’t let themselves think or feel about friendship; this immense collective and personal disappointment is usually concealed, sloughed over, shrugged away.” Moreover, “The older we get, the more we accept our essential friendlessness.” It’s not good psychologically. It’s also not good physically, with a correlation between loneliness and the activity of certain genes associated with systemic inflammation, which raise the risk for viral invasion and cardiovascular disease.

Surprisingly, married life does not appear to be a cure for loneliness. An Australian Study showed that family relationships have almost no impact on longevity. Friendships, by contrast, boost life span up to 22%.

What’s a man to do?

How about joining a church and becoming active in men’s activities? Here at BCBC the Men’s Ministry Outreach program provides opportunities for men to interact and bond. Outreach programs such as our work with ABCCM, as well as the men’s retreat, and sporting events are available.

Also, men might consider participating in the Men’s Bible Study on Sunday night at 6 pm at the church. We discuss the bible, with a focus on issues that matter to men, in the company of other men.

Here’s your invitation to join us. For more information about men’s activities at BCBC call the church office 828-667-9818. You man call Aaron Creasman (828-777-1272) or email Brent Besosa brent@4outdoorsmen.net of the Men’s Ministry. And Dale Butler dale@bentcreekbaptist.com of the Men’s Bible Study group would love to hear from you.